If you don't have 16-foot ceilings, or if you still retain a sliver of human dignity and haven't converted your entire living room into a high-altitude tactical obstacle course... this is the Mini-Monolith. It's 8 feet of solid, stud-anchored engineering designed to keep your chaos gremlin off the kitchen counter without requiring a construction permit.
What’s Inside the Manual:
The Master Supply List: No more aimless wandering through hardware store aisles. We’ve listed every bolt, bracket, and piece of timber required to keep your beasts airborne and your drywall intact.
The 8-Foot Tree Blueprint: Detailed instructions on how to engineer a vertical summit that even a 18-pound beast with one brain cell can’t knock over.
Structural Secrets: The Chief Tree Engineer’s tips on weight distribution, anchoring, and ensuring the tree survives a tactical strike from an apex predator.
The Staff Survival Guide: Hard-won advice on how to build a 16-foot monument while maintaining your sanity.
If you don't have 16-foot ceilings, or if you still retain a sliver of human dignity and haven't converted your entire living room into a high-altitude tactical obstacle course... this is the Mini-Monolith. It's 8 feet of solid, stud-anchored engineering designed to keep your chaos gremlin off the kitchen counter without requiring a construction permit.
What’s Inside the Manual:
The Master Supply List: No more aimless wandering through hardware store aisles. We’ve listed every bolt, bracket, and piece of timber required to keep your beasts airborne and your drywall intact.
The 8-Foot Tree Blueprint: Detailed instructions on how to engineer a vertical summit that even a 18-pound beast with one brain cell can’t knock over.
Structural Secrets: The Chief Tree Engineer’s tips on weight distribution, anchoring, and ensuring the tree survives a tactical strike from an apex predator.
The Staff Survival Guide: Hard-won advice on how to build a 16-foot monument while maintaining your sanity.